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Why dads don’t reach their caregiving goals

Through many years of research, my colleagues at the Boston College Center for Work & Family and I have developed a portrait of today’s white-collar working fathers – and those who make the choice to be at-home fathers, a choice still relatively rarely rare for American dads. We do this to support fathers who strive to have a balanced life, but also to support gender equality and women’s success in the workplace. In spite of many years of Affirmative Action and organizational efforts to promote women’s advancement, a gap continues to exist when it comes to women’s equality, especially in senior levels of leadership.

There’s an old saying that “charity begins at home” and maybe the same holds true for equality. While the government and employers can and should make efforts to level the playing field and advance women in the workplace, much of the reason for workplace disparities is a direct result of the home-based arrangements of working couples. The disparity in time that mothers spend caregiving has been very well documented over the years so this isn’t news. On average, American mothers spend nearly two-times as many hours providing care than working fathers. Yet, in much research, including our own, two-thirds of white-collar fathers say that their goal is to be an egalitarian caregiver. This is especially true for fathers who have a full-time working partner who contributes significantly to the household income. And wives’ financial contributions to family income has continued to increase over the years as the graph below from the Pew Research Center indicates:

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Supporting Working Caregivers: Beyond the Push to Get “Back to Normal”

A recent email started like this: “I have had a few situations recently where managers are becoming impatient with employees who are parents, feeling that the pandemic is over and the desire to get “back to normal.”  The sentiment is very real and understandable, compounded by pressure from the top, but for caregivers, life is not normal, and many of the challenges presented by the pandemic endure. The incidence of serious mental health issues like depression and anxiety remains at crisis levels. Concerns about kids’ learning gaps and mental health, persistent illnesses and sick days, the specter of layoffs, confusing return to office messaging and plans, and economic instability have all impacted retention, advancement and efforts to make organizations more equitable and inclusive.

Caregivers represent an essential portion of your workforce, whether we realize it or not. Many of those who have caregiving responsibilities are invisible in the workplace; researchers estimate that while 73% of the workforce identify as caregivers, only 56% of them say their work supervisor is aware of their caregiving responsibilities—a phenomenon Julia Cohen Sebastien, CEO of caregiver-support platform Grayce, has described as “quiet caregiving.”

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